4.17.2015

An Update

Girls,

I have missed you all so much! First of all, thank you so much for your emails, cards, artwork, words of encouragement and prayers. We are overwhelmed daily by the flat-out-unmeasurable love that has been sent our way. We have lived a lot of life in the past month, and to recount every detail would be impossible, but hopefully this paints a bit of a picture of what we've been doing.

So where are we now?

Since very early March, I've been receiving treatment for my heart from some of the best cardiovascular docs in the nation at an amazing hospital in Missouri. What brought us to that point?

I was getting sicker and sicker back in NWA- and I was in the hospital! After opinions from group-after-group in Arkansas, and getting nothing but a bunch of faces scratches their chins, we knew we had to make other plans - fast. At 9:00 p.m. on March 17, we were transported to the new hospital. 

How are Caroline and Ainsley?

The babies are doing great. Stephen's mom moved into our house and is keeping them there. We wanted as much stability for them as possible while mommy is out the state getting better. Stephen divides his time between being here with me, but also back in NWA with C and A, and where he can be at his desk when needed. He has been crazy strong through this whole mess and I don't deserve him. Not even a little bit.

My mom is down here with me most of the time, too. She hasn't been home since March 17 either and I know she is just exhausted, but won't say a word ; ) I'd be fine (and have asked her to let me) to stay alone, but it's my momma. And we all know a momma's heart when it comes to her baby...even her 30 yr old baby. My dad is here just about every weekend, which is always just good for my soul.

It sucks. It is the hardest thing I've ever done. The first week I was off the ventilator, awake and coherent enough to realize what we were facing, I nearly fell apart. But I also know that it is temporary and that my being here will allow me to be a better, healthier mom when I get home. 

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*As far as the blog goes, it was still be active (I'm not closing up domain juuuuuust yet on this hot mess express, ha!) With that said, I probably really get back to writing until I'm home and settled in. (Hopefully by this summer?) I will try to update from time-to-time, though.

*We've chosen not to share medical details about my specific situation or location info for the hospital where we're staying. I know y'all understand, but didn't want to seem rude if I didn't divulge more. 


2.22.2015

Checking In

Hey, girls! I hadn't popped in for a few days, so I thought I'd let y'all know how things are going.

I'm still trucking along, but we still don't have many answers as to what's going on with my heart. We go to Little Rock this week to see my longtime cardiologist there. He's one of the top cardiologists in the country, so I feel confident he'll be able to help. I'm beyond ready to get his take on all this and start feeling better. Because, if we're being honest, I really don't.

I've never had to take meds for my heart (or anything else) in my entire life, so adjusting to that is kind of a slow process, too. One of the medications makes me so tired, which doesn't mesh well with my usual get-up-and-go routine. Unfortunately, some of these meds put an abrupt halt to breastfeeding because they aren't safe to be passed on to baby. I was pretty bummed about that at first, (and still am), but they are necessary medicines for my heart and we just don't have another choice. Plain and simple. It's not the end of the world though, and Ainsley seems to be adjusting to her new formula really well. I'm grateful for the nine weeks we were able to nurse together and will always cherish that time.

I've definitely had to force myself to slow down and let my family take the lead on things around the house. I'm ready to have the energy to chase Caroline around the house and ready to have the stamina to cook and clean again - something I never, ever thought I'd miss ; ) (Please remind me of this in a couple months when I'm griping about scrubbing toilets, ha!

I feel so, so fortunate that we've never dealt with major health issues in our family before, though. I realize that health is a precious gift and I certainly don't take it for granted. There are so many people dealing with things far, far worse and I'm - we - are positive that things will get better really soon.

One of the things this little medical fiasco has also shown me is the importance of encouraging others who may be going through tough things. The emails, words of encouragement and prayer have been so appreciated, and it has been a great reminder that I need to do more of that for others. I'd love to be able to incorporate the blog into that somehow and I'm excited to explore that idea more. We could all use our own personal cheerleaders sometimes, don't you think?

Have a great Sunday evening and I hope to check in with you all later this week!

2.16.2015

Lately

Hi, girls. As most of you probably know from my Instagram, we had quite the week last week. It all began last Saturday night with a trip to the ER and went on to include a week-long stay in the hospital on the cardiology/ICU floor.

I won't go into a ton of detail because, well, it's medical stuff. But long story short, I had some really wonky heart-related issues going on that were causing some of my other organs, (like my liver), not not function properly either. (Insert wide-eyed emoticon here.)

After several days in the hospital and a million and one tests, my docs were able to pinpoint what was going on and were able to treat it and start helping me feel better.

Ladies, if you learn nothing else from me or this blog, please remember this:

If you are more tired than normal, if something just doesn't feel right, if you feel like you can't get enough sleep even though you technically are - SAY SOMETHING. DO SOMETHING. WAVE THE WHITE FLAG.

I didn't. I just thought I was tired from chasing a toddler and caring for an 8-week-old. I thought I just needed to suck it up, drink some caffeine and stop complaining.

In reality, I was having major heart trouble.

It took my husband putting his foot down and taking me to the ER to give me the wake up call I needed.

So what happens next? Well, I go back to the cardiologist tomorrow for more testing to help my doctors craft a better treatment plan for my heart to help make it the strongest and healthiest it can be. My main goal right now is to get better for two little girls and one amazing husband. Because I cannot be the best mommy and wife to them if I'm not 100% physically.

I'm not sure what that means for blogging, but I do know that for a while, there may not be as much of it. And I'm okay with that. Health trumps all right now.

Thank you all for your emails, well wishes, words of prayer and support and positive thoughts over the past week. We appreciate them more than you will ever know!

See you back here soon --

2.06.2015

Confessional Friday: {Link Up}

My only confession this week is that I cannot get enough of this video with Jimmy Fallon and the Saved by the Bell cast. Enjoy!


   
   

2.03.2015

Tuesday Randoms

Greetings, friends of the interwebs. Hope everyone enjoyed a fun and relaxing weekend!

-Sorry I was MIA on Friday. We traveled to Central AR to visit my parents on Thursday night for the weekend. I had (I thought) arranged for the link-up post to publish on Friday morning, but it looks like that didn't happen - so sorry! Not going anywhere this Friday though, so Confessional Friday will definitely happen : )

-Stephen is in New York all week for work, so blogging may be a little sparse while I corral two little girls. Luckily, my mom came back with us yesterday to help out for a couple of days, so that will be a huge help. Honestly, I've never liked staying alone while he's gone. (I watch way too much Dateline.) Now that we have two littles, I really, really don't like it. Thankfully, we have a top-of-the-line security system and a 100 pound German Shepherd to put my mind at ease when the mister is traveling. However, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't nice to have some company (i.e. Nana).

-I'm trying my hardest to get caught up on email and am slowly making some headway. If you've sent me an email, please know I'll write you back, it just may be a bit. (Read: hopefully within the year.) Thank you so much for your patience!

-The Game of Thrones: Season Five trailer is out. If you have HBO and aren't watching this show, start NOW. If you're a fan of the show and this doesn't make you as giddy as it makes me, then you need to have your head examined. April 12, y'all.