From One Former Bride To Another

As this is wedding season and lots of you ladies are getting hitched in the coming weeks and months, I thought I'd share a few pearls of wisdom that I've gathered in our very long (okay, just shy of two years) marriage ; ) You do learn a LOT that first year, though.

Here are a few things I've learned that might help ya out, (or make you feel more normal if/when it happens.)

1) With men, it's better to just tell them how the heck you really feel. The beauty of guys, (and probably something we ladies should adopt), is that they typically prefer the blunt route. In the beginning, I used to keep S guessing. I wanted him to know exactly why I felt the way I did about something without me having to explain. Yes, clearly I that was flawed logic.

Problem is, this genius method of communicating with my spouse usually ended in me getting even more upset with him that he didn't just inherently know the cause of my foul mood. Men aren't psychics; do not treat them as such. Tell them when you're ticked and save yourself the extra time sulking. Besides, the making up is pretty fun ; )

2) Decide which household "jobs" you'll each take care of. We went into this with a 50/50 mentality. We'd each take on half of the household chores because we both worked outside the home and for us, it just made sense. We decided that Stephen would take care of the lawn, pets, kitchen cleaning and ironing (he's really quite good at it), and I'd take care of vacuuming, dusting, mopping and bathrooms. Laundry is a first-come, first-serve. On Saturdays, we split the chore list in half and in just a couple hours, it's done. Again, this method worked for us, but I know it's different for every couple and every unique situation.

3) Thank each other for the little things. I make sure to try and acknowledge his hard work both in our home and at his job. He does the same for me. Trust me, this will pay dividends.

4) Pray together. Shortly after we got engaged, we started praying together - out loud - daily. I understand that not every couple might feel comfortable with this and everyone has different religious backgrounds, so this is totally an "it works for us" thing. But, I love the connection that I feel with him when we openly share what's on our minds and talk to Him together. I'll be honest, when we first started doing this, it was a little awkward. But, I promise that within a week, you'll love the feeling of  intimacy that it brings.

5) Date. This is going to become even more important now that we are about to welcome Caroline to the picture. Be sure to take time one night a week or so and go on a real date. It can be as simple as getting a burger and walking around the outdoor mall, or having a fancy dinner and going to a movie. We even have "couch pizza" night where we get a pie and eat up while watching old episodes of The Office. The point is to turn phones off, disengage from social media for a few hours and concentrate on your partner.

6) Decide in advance whose family you'll spend each holiday with. For us, this came pretty naturally, as each of our families has different traditions. We always do Christmas Eve with Stephen's parents, Christmas Day with mine and Thanksgiving, we try to do with both families by hosting the dinner ourselves. Again, it works for us, but each couple's family sitch is different.

7) Remind them that you think they're attractive. Frankly, I married out of my league. My husband is a bonafied hottie. I make sure to tell him that I still think he's crazy cute, because, well, he is.

These are just a few of the things that keep us in check. It's tricky finding that balance of what works versus not, but hey, give yourself some time, sister. You'll get there.

Happy wedding bells, bunnies.

Ideas Needed!

via Design Sponge (found on Pinterest)

We're on the precipice of a new year, which got me to thinking...

I'm still in disbelief that this blog has been alive for 2.5 years now...that's crazy to me! It's also rather embarrassing to look back on early posts when this blog had no clear direction or theme. On that note, I'm not entirely sure it has direction or theme now, but at least it looks prettier : )

In the early days of 'ye olden blog, I chronicled my fascinating daily life that included riveting posts on "What I Like to Eat for Breakfast!" and "Happy 10th Birthday to My Dog Max - Isn't He Cute?!"

It was really something, y'all. 

But the years have passed; I've learned that people don't want to read about my preferences of laundry detergent, my site design has become less of a hot mess, and I've made quite a few friends in blogland.

So I'm asking YOU to tell me what you want to read about in 2012.

Uncle Sam wants your ideas, too! He loves A Blonde Ambition and wants it to be awesome for you.

More fashion? More cooking and DIY posts? We can talk about TV shows, working out, shopping, foreign policy and Justin Beiber's hair. Whatever you want, I'll give it to ya, (within reason that is.)

So shout it out, ladies! What would you like to see in 2012 from A Blonde Ambition?

P.S.- Come back tonight for the second installment of New Year, New You, where we'll debate bananas, as well as my own personal weight ; )

(Probably not funny unless you read last week's comments.)

Be blessed, lovelies-

Single for the Holidays? This One's for You.

via

I  preface this post with the following:

Single does not translate to Desperate, Depressed or Unhappy, and by no means does this post imply that. In fact, a lot of girls LIKE being single, including myself during that time. Like, seriously loved it. I learned so much about myself; who I was, what I stood for, etc. I learned how to be independent. I bought a car. I took trips with my girlfriends. Summary: I highly recommend spending a few years enjoying yo'self sans boy. 

And if you are single during the holidays, I highly recommend kissing a complete random guy on New Year's Eve, just Because. You. Can.

Not that I ever did that...ever...but it looks fun...from what I've seen on movies and whatnot...because I would definitely not kiss random strangers....

But, for those of you out there who are at the point where you just wish you had a great guy to spend Christmas with, (boyfriend, or otherwise), I know how ya feel. During college and for years after, being single during the holidays was fun! Back then, there were no stupid questions from friends about when I would settle down or when I'd cash in my bikini for a baby bump.

I mean, who asks a 20 year old, "So why haven't you settled down yet?"

But then years passed.

Then it became less cool to be alone during Christmas.

When I was 22, I began dating someone. Three years passed, we were still together. For reasons I'll never care to know, he refused to solidify any kind of commitment with a ring or even a promise of a future together, (and BOY was that a blessing in disguise.) Holiday functions were torture. Not because I wasn't someone's wife, (there's plenty of time for that), but because he flatly refused to go to my family's home for Christmas or (Lord forbid) spend Christmas Eve away from his parent's house, like most grown people do. It became increasingly embarrassing to go to parties and face questions about when he would propose, or even better, WHY he hadn't proposed yet.

Now, let me interject here and say, in the South, if you're not married by the time you've graduated college, there must be something wrong with you. It's getting better, but still, it sucked having to deal with the questions.

This point in my life was agonizing. And embarrassing. And I knew it was time to cut the dead weight.

We parted ways in 2009 and I honestly felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. But then Christmas rolled around...another holiday season spent alone. Attending parties alone. Blah, blee, bloo.

Single can be SO fun....if you have friends who are also single. I (at this point, anyway), did not. Not one single friend. Lemme' tell ya, it ain't fun to be third wheel at every party and get together.

Last year was the first time really EVER that I'd spent my Christmas with a real, legit boyfriend who wanted to spend Christmas at MY house. (This boyfriend, coincidentally, became my fiance one week later.)

And it was amazing.

But this time of year still makes me hurt a little for the single girls out there who DO long for a sweet guy to kiss under the mistletoe. Trust me when I say, I have sooooo been there. It sucks to spend an entire car ride trying to come up with witty comebacks for when your Great Aunt asks, "Why don't you get married?" "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" "You know, if you want children before your eggs dry up, you need to find a man!", as one older woman asked me one time. For real.

Just know that what you're feeling is legitimate. There's nothing selfish or silly about wanting a male companion with which to spend Christmas Eve. Also, know that your Mr. Right, that amazing man that will one day go to all of your crazy family functions with you and kiss you under mistletoe, is on his way. It may be this year, it may be in a few years. Be patient. God has perfect timing.

I pray daily for the single ladies who are at that point in life where they want to settle down. It's easy to get bummed out, especially during times like the holidays, but please keep your heads up. Just remember that I met Stephen in the most random, unexpected way; likely the way it will happen for you, too : ) It was when I was happy and content with myself. God knew that if I loved myself, I could then love someone else wholly and unconditionally. You'll get there. You'll have your first Christmas as a girlfriend and a fiance and a newlywed.

But if you are solo this Christmas and need some good comebacks when peeps ask why you aren't dating or married, I've personally used all of the following below:

Pestering Friend/Family Member: "So why are you still single (insert name)?"

You: "Jesus was single. I'm just following in his footsteps."

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Pestering Family Member: "I can't figure out why you're not married yet!"

You: "Me neither! But I know why I'm not divorced yet!"

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Pestering Family Member: "Don't you want a spouse?"

You: "Yeah, someday. But I'm really still holding out for that Miss America Title."

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Now this one is a tad snarky, but just in case you need it...

Pestering Family Member: "Why haven't you settled down yet?"

You: "I'm waiting until I get to be your age."

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That's all the witty comebacks I've got, girls! Seriously though, just know that y'all are in my thoughts right now. Keep your pretty, perfectly structured chins up. God is working on someone amazing for you, just wait and see. 

Be blessed, lovelies-

Cakes and Veils and Venues- Oh My!



via Canvas and Canopy


Hello beautiful blog friends! Hope everyone's Wednesday is just peachy ; ) I realize we usually do TWW on hump day, but I just wasn't feeling any of the "trends" on my radar this week...even fashion has its lulls, I suppose.

Now that the engagement hooplah is starting to die down a bit, I'm beginning to realize just how much there is to do! I may need to change my blog name to "One Clueless Bride", ha!

I have a small confession to make; as much as I've always dreamed of finding my soulmate and starting a family of my own, I've never really pondered my wedding. I've just never been that girl. I just figured it would take a miracle from God to even find a husband, so never in my wildest dreams did I think I would actually be planning my own wedding anytime within the next century.

S is such a dear and he really does want to be fully involved in this planning process, so I know he'll be a huge help. But let's face it, there are certain details that only a woman can handle. I mean, I seriously doubt he'll be as pumped as I am to shop for monogrammed napkins and table decorations : ) Men tend to be indifferent about those types of deets.

Thus far, I have made a BIG HONKIN LIST of what needs to be done. That's where my Type A personality begins when faced with a huge project. To me, whenever life gets stressful, make a list and check it twice thrice.

Other than making said BIG HONKIN LIST, I've managed to choose my shoes. Not actually purchase them, just pick them out. Purchasing them means I've committed to footwear and my tastes could change completely by September  : )

Committing to the man? Easy peasy. Committing to the shoes? Eeesh.

But as of today, I'm loving these beauties by Badgley Mischka:




Badgley Mischka "Oliver" shoe in navy...my "something blue"

 Additionally, we have chosen our photographer. Meet the awesomesauce known as Jeremy Cavness. Check out his website and you'll be inspired to get your "picture made" too : ) We heart him and can't wait to see his genius handiwork. You can see a couple of his shots from former engagement/wedding sessions below:

by Jeremy Cavness

by Jeremy Cavness

by Jeremy Cavness

by Jeremy Cavness

And finally, we've also chosen our colors. We actually did that eons ago...(read: 2 weeks ago). We've chosen steely blue-gray and ebony, with bone white accents.

Altogether now....OOOOOO....AHHHHHHH.

Now what's left:
-Pick a cake
-Start our pre-wedding couple's marriage classes at church and meet with our mentor couple
-Reserve the reception venue
-Book a honeymoon
-Get the bridesmaids dresses chosen (luckily, I do have the actual bridesmaids selected!)
-Get our wedding bands
-Choose our flowers and decor for the church and venue
-Arrange a rehearsal dinner and hotel accomodations for our guests
-Register (now THIS we're pumped about)

...and oh-so-much-more!

Ok, here's where you ladies are going to come into play:

I need help. If you have planned your own wedding, your friend's wedding or your dog's wedding, please send me any advice you have! Single ladies, if you've been planning your future wedding, feel free to send your ideas, too!!

How did you stay organized during the planning process?
What websites or magazines were most helpful?
Did you have a director for the ceremony?
How far in advance did you mail invitations?
Did you do "Save the Dates"?

Please help, y'all!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go divide my BIG HONKIN LIST into several, categorized smaller lists.

It's how I roll.

Be blessed, lovelies-