6.03.2010

You Might Cry

{I want to work out in a ball gown like Gisele! Très Chic!}

I'm. In. Pain.

Not the kind of pain where you pop an Advil and grab an ice pack and things are all "better in the morning" kind of pain.

I'm talking hook-me-up-to-a-morphine-drip-and-knock-me-out-for-the-next-ten-days kind of pain.

I'm exaggerating a bit, but seriously ya'll...

So last night in a moment of utter insanity, I decided it would be a terrific idea to do the Level 4 "Powerflow" class at our local yoga place. I lurve yoga and it makes my booty look cute in my skinny pants, so I figured, "Why the heck not?"

BIG downward-facing-dog mistake.

Now, let me give you a little rundown of my history with yoga.

Yoga and I, we go way back. For a good couple of years now, I've been a pretty dedicated yogi (I love that term, it reminds me of Jedi for some reason...Star Wars nerd alert.) I mean, it has really helped me to stay lean and flexible and calmed my oh-so-very-Type A personality down significantly.

I thought yoga and I were on the same page.

Until about 7:30 last night when I decided to "take it to the next level."

I knew I was in trouble when some dude in the class asked our instructor, "So, like, if I'm at Level 2 right now, am I gonna like, die if I do this?"

She paused, smirked and coyly said, "You won't die. But you might cry."

She had triceps bigger than my Balenciaga bag. I believed her.

The class began and I was doing great, feeling the burn. About three-quarters of the way through it though, Miss Instructor decided to up the ante. I'm pretty sure I had already blacked out by this point, but I believe she said something to the effect of, "Now we're going to really release those toxins."

I must've had A FREAKING TON of toxins built up, because I'm pretty sure my body hates me today. Every bone, ligament, tendon and muscle in my small, 5'4" frame has officially thrown in the towel.

So yeah, moral(s) of the story:

1) If you would like to find out how it feels to throw down with Tito Ortiz, just go to a Level 4 yoga class, sleep 8 hours and wake up the next morning. I promise, it's equal to a good rear-kicking.

2) Some of us are just meant to stay at Level 3 for the rest of our lives. It's ok. Not everyone can be a Level 4.

And trust me, I'm a-OK with Level 3.

Be blessed, lovelies-






Photo credits: FGR

10 comments:

  1. Hahahaha. This made me laugh as well as nodding in agreement. I love, love yoga! But wow, chair position? Gets me every time. I need to find a stretching routine that will help, I'm down to every couple of days of doing yoga because of that!

    Hope the pains works itself out! Motrin!

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  2. Happens to me all the time! :) For me, it's never the next morning when I am in the worst pain...it's the day after that. I took a weightlifting class a couple of weeks ago on a Friday, and on Sunday I was moving like a robot. It was awful! I will keep you in my thoughts though....

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  3. hahaha! this made me laugh! so sorry you are in pain, but it was a funny story :)
    at least you attempted it, right?! i signed up for boot camp and quit after two sessions...i am totally okay with being a "less than level 3" in fact, i'm probably not even on the charts :)

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  4. I really need to get back into Yoga AND Pilates myself! My flexibility has gone out the window. Good for you for challenging yoruself-even though you are paying for it now!

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  5. Ouch! Good for you for trying it out though! I need to get back into yoga asap!

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  6. I feel your pain! I took a yoga class this morning and seriously thought I wasnt going to make it back to my car!

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  7. Ohhhhhhh no lady! You're killing me!
    I think you got all crazy after your motivational email to me about yoga didn't you ;)
    lol
    I hope you feel better soon. Now I am deathly afraid for my June 8th start of Power Yoga. Sweet mercy save me!

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  8. aww poor you! that's a funny story and sad all at once! You'll be ok, but now I DO understand how do you feel! xxx

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  9. Ouch! I'm way impressed that you are at a level 4 though! Now your skinny jeans will look EVEN better! :)

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  10. Ha! This is why I read your blog, relatable hilarity! I hope by now you're feeling up to par. Have you tried Bikram yoga? It really kicked my butt in the beginning but now I can't imagine doing yoga any other way! Take care

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