1.31.2012

Becoming a Mrs. (Life-Changing, Yet Not Really)

Jeremy Cavness Photography

This time last year, I was adjusting to the concept of being an engaged lady. I had a shiny, emerald cut stunner on my left hand and a copy of Martha Stewart Weddings in the backseat of my car. I was over the moon to start our married life together...and honest-to-God, there still isn't a day that goes by where I don't get goosebumps thinking about the future with Stephen.

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I wondered several times about the degree to which being married would change me, if at all.


Would I become a different person? I didn't think so.

Would I suddenly have an urge to decorate for every major holiday? Yes. But then again, I did before.

Would I start spending my weekends in sweats and t-shirts, sans make-up? No. But then again, I didn't before.

Would I cook dinner for us vs. going through Chick-Fil-A after work in the evening? I hoped. For our waistlines and for my street cred as a wife.

Would I change my name on Facebook? Duh. I couldn't wait!

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Truth is, being married doesn't feel a whole lot different than being engaged.

We spent loads of time together before September 17th, (okay, we practically lived together). We ate most dinners together. We visited each other's families on the weekends together. We shopped for the boat (our first major purchase) together.

I've heard a lot of women say they felt like they cashed in some form of their identity when they tied the knot. Honestly, I don't think it has to be that way. I still blog, (a hobby which my husband proudly supports), I still wear make-up on days when we're just bumming around the house, I still hang out with my momma (something I was afraid might decrease significantly when I got married.)

We still go on dates, we still text and email throughout the day, we still work out together.

If anything has changed since we got married, it has only been for the better. My favorite time of the day is when Stephen gets home (he gets off work a bit later than I do and I office out of our home) and we spend an hour just hanging out and having a glass of sweet tea in the kitchen, chatting about our day.

We cook together, too. This I love. It is almost better than shopping for Manolos. Maybe better.

 He chops the garlic; I cube the chicken. The planets align.

The less glamorous things in life are still eons better with your spouse. Paying bills, (something I did before as a single lady) is a bit more fun when you can spontaneously burst into a Journey songs with each other to break up the monotony of stamping envelopes and writing checks.

So what has changed? Well, for starters, I have a new last name. I have to admit, I'd been "Double L" for so long that trading in my "L" initial was a little sad. But then again, my husband carries an Italian last name and now I can pretend I'm a mob wife, a definite plus in my book.

I always have a fridge of ingredients from which we can prepare actual meals. During the stag days, my food inventory usually amounted to half a stick of butter, an out-of-date carton of yogurt and bottled water. Now that I cook, we take trips to the grocery store to buy ingredients for a week's worth of meals at a time. (Did you know that's possible?!)

I get excited over things like kitchen towels, Tupperware and new laundry detergent with added Stain Boosters (!!).

We have a medicine cabinet. With medicines for darn near everything. We rarely get sick, but I attribute this to the nasty case of nesting that came with moving into a new home. It seemed appropriate to buy bookoos of Advil and Prilosec. Don't ask me why. (But hey, if you happen to be over at our house for dinner and are in desperate need of Claritin with a side of Robitussin, we've got ya covered.)

We enjoy watching Dateline: Murder Without a Cause and load the coffeemaker before we go to bed.

(As I'm typing this, I'm realizing how geriatric and boring we sound. You're probably wondering when we plan to get hip replacements and dentures.)

Sure, there are times we want to strangle each other have pleasant disagreements.

But oh how I love that man. The way he turns up the heat in the house when we wake up in the morning, just so I won't have to shiver in the bathroom. Or the way he is able to make a really bad situation a not so bad situation by impersonating a cast member from Jersey Shore and subsequently causing me to laugh so hard I can't breathe.

Last week, I was waxing and waning about how my hair would look like a poorly constructed bird's nest throughout the entire month of March. (Due to the upcoming surgery, I won't be able to raise my arms over my head for a few weeks. I know, it's splendid.)

Without missing a beat, he goes, "I can wash it for you. And dry it. And I've watched you poof it. I can definitely do that, too. Don't worry. We'll get your hair fixed."

Then, thinking about what he may have just gotten himself into...

"Or I'll drive you over to that nice salon every day if we have to."

And then I realized. That's how my life has changed. I have an "other half". When one of us goes down, the other one steps in to save the day.

Or poof our hair.

Be blessed, lovelies-

47 comments:

  1. How sweet! I am still a newlywed too (March 2011) and even though we practically lived together before marriage like you and your hubby, it is something about the ceremony that changes...for the better of course! I love knowing that I will always have some to come home to. I love laying in bed at night and rolling over to kiss him before I drift to sleep. Married life is AMAZING :)

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  2. precious! gave me goosebumps! I feel the same way about my man! so happy for you.

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  3. Okay, I'm a total sap, but the washing your hair and drying it for you and poofing it for you brought tears to my eyes. So freaking sweet!
    itsthelittlethingsblog.blogspot.com/

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  4. Adorable! You guys are too cute. I have been married for almost five years now, and I am still trying to see how my life drastically changed - but it didn't! Love it. And I can't wait to see if he actually poofs your hair for you!

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  5. I love this post! DH and I practically lived together just like you described. And when we did move in after we got married I was surprised at how much hadn't changed. There was some stuff to get use to and some growing pains to work out but its so worth it. We love to cook together and feel lucky to spend time together just like you described. Being married is like having a slumber party with your best friend every night. With just a few chores and adults issues thrown in ;)

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  6. This is so sweet. You make me very excited to become a newlywed in May. I have often wondered how things will change, but we spend so much time together now I dont see it being much different either.I cant wait!!

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  7. As a bride to be (07-21) this made me tear up! It's the perfect way of thinking about marriage. Things change, but it doens't have to be bad change.

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  8. I almost just cried! How cute:) You all are precious! I wish you both the best

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  9. You described it so perfectly! It's hard to put into works how happy and content marriage can be. Finding the right one just falls into place- and fighting for bad relationships to work are such a waste of time, but you don't realize that until you find the right one! Great post!

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  10. So true! I really didn't feel like I changed that much after getting married either. I just felt like everything was just a "bonus" now, having to share it with someone else :)

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  11. What a sweet post and what a guy!!! How awesome! I've been married almost 19 years and two kids later, it's still as awesome as when I met him, just busier! Hah! Glad you found your soul mate and best of luck with your upcoming surgery, you're in my prayers that all goes well.

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  12. Oh my goodness I think I just melted a little on the inside...precious, adorable, wonderful. Y'all make me so happy. I can tell how happy you are and how much you two love each other just by your words...makes me happy for you, friend. You deserve that and so much more! I hope and pray that I feel the same way once A and I get hitched (if we ever do) but I have a feeling that it's going to be much better than I could ever imagine.

    Praying for your surgery--I may have missed what's going on or you may just not be sharing too many details but either way, I'm here for you! I miss you mucho, and I am so glad you are enjoying your new job!

    We need to get on planning our blogger meet up for the Spring :) LOVE YOU!

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  13. Awww! I'm getting married in July and find myself wondering -- even after dating for 6 years -- what will be different? Thanks for posting.

    PS -- A few years ago I broke my elbow & wore a sling and my sweet BF blow dried and chi-ed my hair every morning before work. I guess he really did pay attention! Steven can do it!!

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  14. Beautifully written - your words are insightful, heartfelt and joyful.

    XoXo, Dana
    www.alyroseboutique.blogspot.com

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  15. what a great post! Marriage didnt really change much for us either! (going on 3+ yrs now) I think that means we must have found the right mate! ;)

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  16. I laughed all the way through this. It's all so true! My husband imitates the Jersey Shore as well, but hasn't learned how to poof my hair yet...I suppose there is still time :)

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  17. Aw, so sweet! My husband and I just had our three year anniversary last week :). Not muched changed for us, our situation was very similar to you guys, but there was definitely a different "feel" to our relationship. Hard to describe (and I'm sure you know what I'm talking about) but just having that commitment made us stronger.

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  18. what a sweetie...and what a lovely post:)

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  19. Amazing post, Leslie! One of those super sweet tributes to your other half. And I would say you've only changed for the better, in the fact that you have a partner-in-crime all the time, who offers to poof your hair :)

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  20. love, love, love! i love it when people share happy marriage stories :)
    sweethomenashville.blogspot.com

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  21. The end of this post made me laugh and smile SO much! You guys are so cute! And, you definitely don't sound boring at all! So glad you guys are happy :)

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  22. This just made me tilt my head sideways and mentally go "Awwww" at my desk while reading. So sweet. I adore you and I adore you and your other half together. :)

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  23. I think I love every blog post you write. They are always so honest and sweet!! My bf lives a couple hours from me so I spend weekends at his house and totally have to agree that something mundane doesn't become so bad when you have someone to do it with. We love planning meals during the week then cooking when I'm there, I will work on the ranch with him, etc. Just every day life but it's with someone you love..so I think if (when?) we got married things would only get better too! And I certainly won't stop wearing makeup on the weekends either :)

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  24. So sweet!! What a great guy!!

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  25. that is so sweet! I love hearing stories like this :)

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  26. This is such a sweet post! I am newly engaged and I am loving reading about being married and real life. Thanks for sharing!

    Allyson
    http://cupcakescandycanes.blogspot.com

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  27. The last bit made me smile so big. I am so happy you found the perfect man for you. And I'm so happy you have each other. You described how I've been feeling lately perfectly about marriage. I sort of miss my old initial too... W was mine for so long... but at least now it's an H - still looks cool w/ my other 2 initials and besides I'll always be a W in my heart! Keep us posted on the surgery and your progress sweetie! ox

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  28. SUCH a sweet post! my hubby and i got married a week after you and yours - it has been a crazy adventure but i am loving it! love all the little things we get to do together now!

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  29. Aw, adorable post! I am planning my wedding right now and envision my "married life" every day. So happy that you have your "other half!"

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  30. So sweet! I agree...married life is great. It's nice to feel that we aren't alone in this world. I'm so impressed that you wear make up around the house! Me, not so much. I barely can be bothered wearing it to work-but that's how he was when he met me so...he knew what he was getting into! Be sure to post a pic of his poof work on your hair!

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  31. Thats how a marriage should be I think. Both people giving 100%, not 50/50. And continuing to develop their friendship.

    What kind of surgery do you need? Rotator cuff?

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  32. I agree, being married doesn't change much, when things really start to change is when you have kids, then it's like everything is flipped upside down and hopefully you both make the leap on the same page :)

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  33. Love this! The two of you make a great team! :)

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  34. this post is truly precious and honestly one of my favorites ever...of all the blogs I read! I'm happy that you are so happy.

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  35. I loved this post Leslie - especially the idea of Steven poofing your hair!!! :] Precious!!!

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  36. That last part made me spontaneously burst out with a sob for all the single women that long for what you have! I hope y'all never take one single moment for granted... Something tells me you won't!

    PS - I wasn't being a smart a$$ - it must be hormonal because more than a brief tear escaped and it was a full-fledged sob!

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  37. Love this, Leslie!! First off--you give me hope of finding someone made for me. I'm even trying Kelly's Korner link up this time and telling everyone it can work, look at Leslie and Stephen (like I know you in real life. Ha!) Second, I love that he volunteered to poof your hair. That's love!

    ~Tiffany
    http://tiffanyd22.blogspot.com

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  38. Oh, Leslie, this is so beautiful. I teared up at the end. I'm engaged now to my best friend. I can't wait to start our happily ever after together. I know he'll always take care of me, ups and downs alike. Thank you for this!

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  39. Hey Leslie, I tagged you in my post today, so I hope you can play along. Check it out at sweethomenashville.blogspot.com

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  40. Love this! :) I am loving the little things about being married too!!

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  41. First- I wholeheartedly agree with the "little things" being more fun with someone around. I'm not married yet, but live with my bf, and enjoy almost every moment.

    That being said, I don't think it's a good thing if you're "surprised" by things after marriage or things change too much. Marriage shouldn't change things all that much- aside from a deeper commitment to each other. Not saying that it HAS changed you- because clearly you're saying it hasn't.. but I always kind of think.. "whaa?" when I hear people say how different it is. Those people weren't doing something right in the "getting to know you" phase if they're JUST finding things out about their significant others post-marriage. (of course there will always be little quirks..but as far as moderately big- big things..people should know those)

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  42. Awww, this is such a cute post! I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years (it will be officially two next Friday - yay!).

    I don't know what kind of surgery you're getting (sounds like shoulder since you can't raise your arms over your head??) but I promise you your husband will do a fantastic job of doing your hair!

    I had a broken wrist last year and couldn't do my hair either...and my boyfriend blow-dried and straightened it for me (or helped me clip it back) on the reg.

    Good luck...such a sweet post :)

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  43. This is so sweet and it sounds like you two have a great relationship. Your husband sounds like a definite sweetheart. I was wondering how your health was b/c I recalled you were having some issues. I hope the surgery and recovery go well. Thanks for keeping us posted.

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