Today's Confessional Friday topic - if you're following the topic schedule - is embarrassing moments. I could write a book on the oodles of humiliating things I've said and done in my lifetime, but I thought instead I'd tell you about my most recent embarrassing moment involving a pair of pregnancy Spanx and an Old Navy dressing room.
Two weeks ago, I went into Old Navy to look for a dress. Normally, I can just eyeball something like a maxi dress and know if it's going to fit, but with this every-changing pregnant body, trying everything on is a must.
Anywhoodle, I pull a simple, black maxi off the rack and proceed into a fitting room, which in our Old Navy, is located in the smack-dab-middle of the store. I was wearing a pair of maternity Spanx that day underneath my outfit, so I just kept them on to try on the dress. The mirrors in the fitting room of this particular Old Navy only allow you to see the top 3/4 of your body and I wanted the full view.
To get the full effect of what the dress looked like, I walked out to the 360' mirror, which sits just outside the fitting rooms, but visible from most vantage points of the store. So, I proceed out of the dressing room, full of confidence in my garment choice. I'm admiring the silhouette of my new frock when I notice something in the mirror.
Something that resembles a bare behind. My bare behind. Only it's not bare, it's covered in a nude-colored pair of preggo Spanx.
I had somehow gotten the back tail of the dress tucked inside of the back of the Spanx, revealing my nylon-covered crack.
Before I even have time to pull the dress out of the Spanx, I catch the eye of a (I'm guessing) 17-year-old male Old Navy associate, clearly horrified that he's just seen what can only be described as the most un-sexy of undergarments since Victorian-era bloomers.
And his manager is standing right behind him.
And behind them, a father with two young boys, patiently waiting their turn for a fitting room.
I tried to play it cool and waltz back into the dressing room like I meant to show the world my ever-widening, six-and-a-half-months-pregnant behind...but, OH MY Y'ALL...I died.
Needless to say, I got dressed faster than ever before and made a quick exit from the store, sans black maxi dress and, subsequently, my pride.
So if today, you're feeling a little uncool at any point, just remember this (sadly, true) story and feel better.
You didn't show your backside to the Fayetteville Old Navy.
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